It’s not easy being a woman (or man) in this day and age and self-love can be one of the hardest feelings and states of being to cultivate. I’ve always been big on self-love as, quite frankly, I don’t see the use in feeling otherwise about oneself, but like everyone I know, I am regularly hit with self-doubt and drop the ball on self-care and kindness and need some simple remedies for the negative self-talk.

See how many “self” things we have going on all at the one time and I haven’t even introduced the big one yet – self-loathing. I see this time and time again in my Barre Body studios with clients who approach exercise for all the wrong reasons – to lose weight or to shape up, rather than the best reason of all – to feel good and create a greater sense of wellbeing and self-love.

I’d love to share some simple techniques for cultivating more self-love. Hopefully at least one of them resonates and brings you a little more of the good-self-stuff and less of the not-so-good-self words mentioned above.

Eat with self-love

This is a huge issue for many women. As a collective, we are plagued with food and body issues and inundated with different diets and food plans to try. I can tell you from my vast career (and personal) experience that the more intensely you focus on what you eat and how much you eat, the more likely you are to move into “dieting” and obsessive-eating territory. It’s not healthy and it does nothing for your sense of self-love. Try for one week to eat with love for your body and not to try to change it. Bless your food and say a gratitude prayer before you eat. See how different it feels.

Talk with self-love

Pay attention to your self-talk for a day and see how often it is critical or unpleasant. We all have that little voice in our head that tells us we aren’t good enough or thin/strong/tall/busty/fun/etc enough (I could go on and on with the “not-enoughs”). What if you were to dramatically change that voice to one of kindness and love. What if you were to talk to yourself as you would your best friend? It’s revolutionary idea, but what if you were as nice to yourself as you are to the people closest to you. This idea of speaking to myself as I speak to my best friend really transformed my inner dialogue for the better. Try it.

Move with self-love

This is such a biggie for me. As a mentioned earlier, I see so many women in my studios who are not moving their bodies with love, but rather exercising to achieve an external goal (looking better/thinner/stronger/more toned – again, the list goes on and on). Movement can be so joyful and doing it in a non-pressured, non-results-oriented way delivers so much more freedom and fun and self-esteem than exercising for external results. Do what you love – walking, swimming, yoga, Pilates, dancing and do it with self-love.

Try these things for a week and I promise you’ll feel better about yourself. Try them for a month and they’ll really start to cement. Try them for 90 days and you wont even know yourself – or actually you will and you’ll love her!