Because I’m more attractive without it.

That’s the short version. Here’s the long version.

I first considered Botox when I was 34, which is later than a lot of people I soon discovered. I was pregnant with my second child and feeling a little old. I waited until I finished breastfeeding and then at the age of 36 (last year), I had my first taste of Botox.

Interestingly, as soon as I started contemplating it, it was everywhere around me. I asked a friend in her early forties if she had it and she said, “Of course I do. If you have to ask, I’m obviously not getting enough!”

On retreat in Fiji, I spoke to a client of mine from Barre Body, who is a cosmetic doctor in Melbourne, and she dispelled the myth that Botox can help to stop wrinkles from getting worse, saying that when you stop the injections, the lines and wrinkles catch up to how they would have looked without the interference of Botox.

I spoke to a make-up artist friend and she said that a little bit of Botox was fine, but that I should stay away from fillers as they tend to look a little less natural. 

I have a gorgeous friend who is 41 (going on 25) and she has Botox regularly and looks great, so I thought it would be the same for me; a couple of jabs and hey presto, I’d look 10 years younger (and feel equally fabulous). I didn’t though; I just looked slightly crazed, having been afflicted with what I now know to be a common result of anti-aging injections – angry, flat eyebrows (as well as creepy eyes and a shiny forehead). I had jabs on my forehead, around my crows’ feet and between my eyebrows and it totally changed the look of my face. I still looked like me, but a weird, slightly cross, less pretty version of me. I really didn’t like it. Yes, the wrinkles were gone, but I don’t think I looked any younger, and more to the point, I felt far less attractive.

The more the Botox wore off, the prettier I felt.

Now I know some may say that this effect is the result of misplaced injections or simply too much of the youth juice, but I can report that I tried again and the result was exactly the same. Angry, fat, flat eyebrows and generally feeling and looking far less pretty.

I also noticed that as the injections started to wear off, I became increasingly LESS obsessed with my face. I’m a big believer that you give energy to whatever it is that you dedicate your attention to and thus make it a bigger “thing”. The less Botox remained, the less I noticed the wrinkles, and the less I cared about them. Now I don’t even really notice them. Or rather, I love them as I know they make me look like me, and a prettier version at that.

My advice is to embrace and accept your beautiful face. Love your laugh lines for the good times they’ve come from. Don’t obsess as you’ll just give energy and make bigger the thing that you’re trying to “fix”. Don’t go down that slippery slope if you can avoid it.

PS. It’s ok to say that I feel pretty as I am. It doesn’t mean that I am conceited; it just means that I am well into my 30s and it’s far better for my self-esteem to believe I am pretty, than to not believe it.

PPS. I reserve the right to sing a different tune on the subject of cosmetic injectables when I am in my 40s, but right now, I am happy the way I am.